Friday, June 12, 2015

Confidence and Cockiness

When I was much younger, I played soccer (futbol, to the rest of the world). I was pretty decent although I was never going to make the national team or play professionally. One time during my junior high school days, I scored a goal and like most young bucks, I got out of control with my celebration. Not only did I celebrate with my teammates but I took it further and taunted the opposing team.

When I got onto the sidelines during halftime, my coach (who I respected a lot) took me to the side and said "son, do you know the difference between confidence and cockiness?" I thought about it for a second. I thought about my sports idols at the time. They used to taunt their opponents, carrying on, talking trash. They seemed pretty confident.

After giving it some more thought, I told my coach that my idols were confident so no, I didn't know the difference. He leaned down over me, looked me right in the eye, then said "the difference is that when you're confident, you let yourself know and when you're cocky, you let the world know. Always be confident. NEVER be cocky." Then he marched me over to the other team and made me apologize for my rude behavior.

Cut to present day. I was watching a documentary about the special forces. This one former spec ops guy said that he knows when another spec ops guy walks in the room because there's a confidence to his walk. Those guys aren't supposed to advertise who they are but this guy knows because of the way spec ops people handle themselves.

Confidence is interior. Cockiness is exterior. Kids today would call cockiness swagger but they have it all wrong. Swagger to me is when you're confident in your skills; no matter what they are. Just don't crow about it.

When I write on this blog, it's from confidence. I sometimes wonder if I gave a page to each woman who I've slept with, what would they say? Though I try to be their best, I may be quite the opposite to them so there's some humility to what I write. I'm never cocky and I'm always trying to get better; always learning new tricks. I'm never cocky, though. Don't ever be cocky; only confident.