If your parents were anything like mine, you were told sometimes that it's better to be seen and not heard. What you probably weren't taught was that it's better to listen than to speak. The same goes when it comes to being with women.
Women want to be respected. A big part of that is that they also want people to listen to what they have to say. Let them speak.
If you're with a woman, the last thing she wants to deal with is you yapping on and on about your job, your friends, your exes (NEVER talk about your exes....NEVER!!), or your material things; especially your material things. If she wants to hear about all of that, turn around and run out the door.
Let the lady talk about her feelings, what she's been up to, her ideas. Oh and really listen. Don't do one of those zoning out routines, throw in a few "yes" and "uh huh" and think that it's not going to be noticed because it will be.
There is one exception to the rule. Listen but don't become her bitching sponge. Don't be that guy she goes to just to bitch and moan. The second that happens, two things should happen. The first is that you should realize that you're going to get thrown into that "friend" category. That's the category where you're never going to have sex with her because she "doesn't want to hurt the friendship". Then, she'll bitch to you about the guys that she's fucking and you'll REALLY get upset.
The second thing that should happen is that you should put a stop to the bitching....any way you can, short of murder. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to her.
Women want to be respected. A big part of that is that they also want people to listen to what they have to say. Let them speak.
If you're with a woman, the last thing she wants to deal with is you yapping on and on about your job, your friends, your exes (NEVER talk about your exes....NEVER!!), or your material things; especially your material things. If she wants to hear about all of that, turn around and run out the door.
Let the lady talk about her feelings, what she's been up to, her ideas. Oh and really listen. Don't do one of those zoning out routines, throw in a few "yes" and "uh huh" and think that it's not going to be noticed because it will be.
There is one exception to the rule. Listen but don't become her bitching sponge. Don't be that guy she goes to just to bitch and moan. The second that happens, two things should happen. The first is that you should realize that you're going to get thrown into that "friend" category. That's the category where you're never going to have sex with her because she "doesn't want to hurt the friendship". Then, she'll bitch to you about the guys that she's fucking and you'll REALLY get upset.
The second thing that should happen is that you should put a stop to the bitching....any way you can, short of murder. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to her.
1 comment:
This is post definitely spoken volume to me; I think listening is just as important to women as it can be men as well. In my last situation there was a definitely lack of “listening” going on which is a big turn off. Communication requires the art of listening and being receptive to what is being heard and said. I think a lot of men can take a cue from this post. Listening will take you far, but as you mentioned, if you’re trying to go forward with someone beyond friendship know what type of listener to be. That’s one of the reasons why, I enjoy my writing, it’s my poetic way of putting all those thoughts & feelings where it wasn’t noticed in my life. Overall, this is a good post for both men and women take the time to listen and you’ll learn and get far.
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