"Be nice until it's time to not be nice" - Patrick Swayze, Roadhouse
I loved that movie. Yeah, it was a cheesy 80s movie but Swayze was one of those few guys who danced the way ladies loved him to, yet a guy could feel like they could have a beer with him. Such was the power of the man. He was also, by all accounts, a very nice guy.
I bring this up because that cheesy line is one of my credos. To me, it means that you should be nice to people until they start to mistake your niceness with weakness. It ties into "do unto other as you would have them do unto you". The problem is that in society, there are people who will just do unto you and not in a good way.
I bring this up because it's especially true for relationships; both male and female. Don't be nice, especially if you're a guy. You'll just end up in the "friend zone". You know the type of guy I'm talking about. He's the guy you go to to dump your problems onto. He'll sit there and listen and be there like a little puppy dog while you bitch about the asshole you slept with. All the while, he's wishing he was the one you were sleeping with; only that'll never happen because he's too much of a friend and you'll never see him as anything else. In short, he's in your "friend zone". I know of what I speak because I used to be that guy in my 20s. Funny thing is that when I stopped being the friend, I started getting more women. Strange how that works out.
I'm not going to tell you that nice guys finish last because I don't think that. I believe that guys who are TOO nice finish last. The meek shall inherit the Earth, as the Bible says. However, that hasn't happened in over 2,000 years of human history so I doubt that'll happen any time soon. Just don't be that too nice guy. No one wants a doormat, after all.
I loved that movie. Yeah, it was a cheesy 80s movie but Swayze was one of those few guys who danced the way ladies loved him to, yet a guy could feel like they could have a beer with him. Such was the power of the man. He was also, by all accounts, a very nice guy.
I bring this up because that cheesy line is one of my credos. To me, it means that you should be nice to people until they start to mistake your niceness with weakness. It ties into "do unto other as you would have them do unto you". The problem is that in society, there are people who will just do unto you and not in a good way.
I bring this up because it's especially true for relationships; both male and female. Don't be nice, especially if you're a guy. You'll just end up in the "friend zone". You know the type of guy I'm talking about. He's the guy you go to to dump your problems onto. He'll sit there and listen and be there like a little puppy dog while you bitch about the asshole you slept with. All the while, he's wishing he was the one you were sleeping with; only that'll never happen because he's too much of a friend and you'll never see him as anything else. In short, he's in your "friend zone". I know of what I speak because I used to be that guy in my 20s. Funny thing is that when I stopped being the friend, I started getting more women. Strange how that works out.
I'm not going to tell you that nice guys finish last because I don't think that. I believe that guys who are TOO nice finish last. The meek shall inherit the Earth, as the Bible says. However, that hasn't happened in over 2,000 years of human history so I doubt that'll happen any time soon. Just don't be that too nice guy. No one wants a doormat, after all.
2 comments:
You're so right here. No woman wants a doormat. For me personally I'd like a guy who would take charge of me, help me make decisions but let me still be myself.
My husband controls me, but not in the way you'd imagine. I always ask his opinion and he shrugs his shoulders and tells me it's up to me! I figure that's him controlling how much responsibility he doesn't have to take on.
Does that make sense?
It makes complete sense. It's a form of manipulation.
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